A Letter To My Deceased Husband
Dear Robby,
It has been 25 years since you left this world. Not one day has passed that I have not thought of you. When you first left your body, I did not understand how this soulmate thing actually works. I believe we were connected to each other even before we met physically. I believe that if I could go back to my childhood on the day you were born, I’d probably have one moment where a soft voice whispered in my ear, “he’s here!” Even in my most difficult days of growing to understand who I really was, I always knew you’d come along one day. The very first words you spoke in my presence were, “it’s you!” Those two words pierced through my body like a bolt of lightning, striking my heart. That gentle voice that whispered in my ear as a child, once again proclaimed, “he’s here!”
In my struggle to understand the concept of time, I always measure it in relation to the day you left me. It’s like I’ve had two lives. I spent the first ten years alone traveling the world in search of who the single Bob really is. I finally found peace when I came to understand that the 15 years with you have left an indelible mark on everything I do. Instead of standing beside me, you now occupy a place in my heart that informs my decisions. Our search together for our own path in life has left me with a unique perspective on the world around me. From that first day we were together I believe we both understood that the very core of a soulmate relationship is built on the fact that two people simply come together because their paths are the same path.
I am now what is commonly known as a “cancer survivor.” Often, when I ask myself why I’m still around, the answer has to do with you and all the people I have had the privilege to be with at the end of their lives. Each time I was left with questions that were unasked and unanswered. Now that I have been to the edge of that great abyss we call eternity, I have come back with some of the answers. I feel it is my duty to find the right words to express what you and all the others were unable to say in your last days on earth. I believe I understand why you chose to leave. I was given that choice three times in the past year. I truly believe I still have a purpose in this world. I’m sure when that purpose is fulfilled I will be able to gently close my eyes and join you.
